Incomplete
by Carlisle'sCoven
Summary: Song fic: Set somewhere in the middle of New Moon, Song "Incompete" by the Backstreet Boys. in Bella's POV Please R&R! i suck at these summery things! rated T just to be safe.


**(A/N) Okay so when I heard this song it totally reminded me of Bella in New Moon. I would like to thank Jami who edited this for me cuz I stink at anything like that. So yeah........read and leave me a review! They make me smile... **

**~Jami~**

**Disclaimer: I didn't write the song...it's the Backstreet Boys....and neither Bella nor any other Twilight thing belongs to me....it's all Stephine's.....as well as a parahgragh that is in New Moon...I liked it so much I had to put it in so anything that sounds familer isn't mine!!**

* * *

**[Empty, spaces fill me up with holes.**

**Distant faces, with no place left to go]**

I was numb. I had been for months now. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, life felt...empty.

It annoyed Charlie, the way I acted, he just didn't understand, nobody but me did. It's funny how such a little thing in life changes, and then totaly aulters the way a person functions.

He wanted me to get a doctor, the kind that wants to know everything you do everyday of your life. Charlie thought it would help "ease the pain." But I doubted that even a specialist could help me. Nothing could ever put the peices back just the right way.

"I'm sending you home!" Charlie yelled.

It wasn't the first time he had threatend to send me back to Renee. And I knew it wouldn't be the last. But it must have hurt him, seeing me like this. Then again I don't think he realized it hurt that he didn't want to put up with me anymore.

I couldn't stand to remember the way life used to be, and how wonderful it was. If only Charlie new what I would give to be like that again. But when _he _left, _he _also took away friends, people I loved, and part of me.

"I thought I was home!"

I was beginning to fall apart at the seems. "I won't go!"

I ran up stairs and slammed the door locking it.

**[Without you, within me, I can't find no rest.**

**Where I'm going is anybodies guess.]**

I stood in front of my door for a long time, my room didn't feel as secure as it once did. Happyness used to wash over me when I would enter and see _him _laying on my bed waiting for me. But now it's just another reminder, one that eats away at my numb feeling and eventually gets through.

_He_ might have tried to dissapear, taking away what _he _thought would be a memory. Taking away everything I loved so passionately. But my memories are still there, in the back of me mind, and they haunt my every dream.

I drug my feet along the floor reaching my bed, and I curled up on it. My bed felt empty without _him _there next to me, _his _voice never there to sing me to sleep. I kept telling myself it was all a bad dream, so I could wake up from this nightmare and be in _his _arms again. Then I would remember that it wasn't a dream. It was real life, nothing ever happened the way you wanted it to. Slowly I was losing everything. Hope, Faith, Love, Life.

**[I've tried to go on like I never knew you**

**I'm awake while the world is half asleep]**

They say that time passes, even when it seems impossible. It was a fact. Even though each tick of every second aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does, even for me.

And some where in that time _he_ told me I would forget, forget every word he had ever said to me. Every kiss that lingered on my lips, and every touch of _his_ skin, that ever brushed against mine.

Although I couldn't bring myself to believe such a thing. Every memory we had together was burned into my brain like a brand on an animal. As long as I held on to those long enough, and never let one of them slip through my fingers, I would always remember_ him._

Something though, I knew would always bother me. Something _he_ had told me.

"_I won't forget. But my kind. . .we're very easily destracted."_

A single tear slid down my face, knowing that _he _would forget. Even if it was on purpose,_ he_ would eventually forget everything.

That night I laid awake in my bed, while Charlie and the whole world slept, curled into my little ball, trying to forget.

**[I pray for this heart to be unbroken.**

**But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete.]**

When I woke the next morning, the sun was shining bright, like I used to love. But now I found that not even it's golden rays could warm my cold, broken heart. Instead it too reminded me of _him_, and I could feel a large part of me missing.

**[Voices tell me, I should carry on.**

**But I am swimming in an ocean all alone.]**

The days, they pass in slow, shadowing nights, and everyone of them seems a little less empty. I knew that feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to get me anywhere, and I tried to accept that.

So many people around me, Charlie, Mike, and now Jake. Tell me I need to forget, but I can't. It will always remain, the empty feeling, and they don't under stand. The sun once brought back our memories, but now it helps to fix my broken heart.

"See ya tomorrow Bells." Jake said flashing my smile.

I waved to him as he rode off on his flashy red bike and the emptiness returned. I didn't bother to say anything to Charlie as I entered the house. I wasn't in the mood for fighting.

I dropped my coat on the floor, closed my bed room door, and moved to my bed. It was dark in the room, having not turned on the light. I never opened my window anymore and I always kept the curtians closed, as if to hide it from me.

**[Baby, my baby**

**It's written on your face**

**You still wonder, if we made a big mistake.]**

With the blankets over my head I fell into a dark sleep, even in the roaring thunder.

I could see _his _face, beautiful and perfect. _His _expression was painful to see. _His _onyx eyes were greif striken, and sad, as if _he himself_ were crying. I reached for _him_, but _he _began to dizzolve away, and I ran towards _him _screaming.

**[I've tried to go on like I never knew you **

**I'm awake, while the world is half asleep.]**

A bolt of lightning lit my dark room, and a thunderous boom woke me from my nightmare. I was breathing hard, and my eyes were welled up with tears.

"I can't do this!" I sobbed into my hands. "I can't, I can't, I can't!"

Why was it so hard for me to forget? Why couldn't I stop seeing _his _face everywhere I turned?

**[I pray for this heart to be unbroken**

**But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete.]**

I couldn't do this! There wasn't any way around it. _He _had left _his _mark on my heart, and when _he _left, _he _took it away from me. The emptiness would never leave, and I could never move on. Not after what _he _had done to me.

**[I don't mean to drag it on**

**But I can't seem to let you go]**

Never in my life would I have thought I would be like this. Full of loneliness and sorrow, like I was. It wasn't my fault that my mind only thought of _him_, or maybe it was. But I just couldn't do this, I couldn't move on.

**[I don't wanna make you face this world alone**

**I wanna let you go.]**

The lightning continued outside, and I laid frozen in my bed, hugging my tear soaked pillow, thinking.

Even if _he _didn't want me, _he _must have realized how it could make _him _feel. Before I really knew _him _I could tell that _he _was lonely.

The tears started up again, thinking of what _he _must feel. _He _was the only one in _his _family that had never found anyone. But even if _he _didn't think so, _he _would always have me. Now _he _had no one.

I at least had Jake, and for a moment I didn't feel sorry for myself, but for _him_.

**[I've tried to go on like I never new you **

**I'm awake while the world is half asleep.**

**I pray for this heart to be unbroken.**

**But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete.]**

As I fell back to sleep, I saw his face again, a constant reminder that he isn't there beside me. That he didn't want me, when right now and always I would desperately need him. With out him these empty holes would never fill themselves in.

**[Incomplete]**

My life would always be a black, moonless night, my soul always empty and my heart forever missing.


End file.
